Naija Chikita

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Private Lives

So, i was watching HOUSE M.D. (which i love, by the way) on Monday and i realised something....

WE ALL HAVE SECRETS!

So, if u watch house, and u watched Episode 14 of Season 6, with the same title as my post, then you might just see where my inspiration for this post materializes...

I mean, this woman is a famous blogger and basically blogs about her life, but leaves out clues to her ailment (Wilson's Disease)....

So why do we blog?
To vent out our true feelings to strangers....
i mean, most of my inner thoughts and fears are known by only me and God ofcourse...
But really...

Most of the time we think we know somebody but we actually don't.
Most of the time we actually think we have no secrets, but we do....
Often times our secrets is no "wow factor" look at a celeb's life for instance....... all the sneaky behavior behind closed doors that when revealed, we go..... NOOOO, HOW COULD YOU.
But the truth of the matter is, it is not uncommon.
Whatever our secrets may be, someone else out there has gone thru the very same. they might had been ashamed of it and hid it (like you did) or are comfortable with talking about it)

Think about it.
When peeps who know me personally, started reading my blog, what my writing changed

I'd write about things they already know (maybe they vaguely have an idea but they know about it)
Certain things i completely leave out.....

Back in the day, there were diaries (well they are still online diaries) but even those aren't safe..... someone is bound to figure out your inner workings.....

So why keep the secret(s) in the first place?
Does it make us feel better about ourselves because deep down we do know that we care about how we are viewed by others?

Why don't we want certain aspects of our lives out there in the open?

I'm sitting in my bed typing away and i still can't figure out why i don't say what's always on my mind..... what i feel, want, have been through, go through, will go through, my fears, my hopes, my dreams....
Why can't i?

I'm a very secretive person. i keep my thoughts close to my heart. My mom says that's a problem. who is to say what is a problem and what isnt?

i tell myself that it's because i find it hard to trust, but is it really? Or is it because i want people to perceive me under a certain light?

i could ramble on and on on this subject (if you let me), but the bottom line still remains,

WHY DO WE KEEP SECRETS? IS IT JUST A HUMAN THING?
posted by chayoma at 4:20 PM 21 comments

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Stalkerazzi 2.0 FINALE.........

Okay so i have been rambling on about this ish, n right now i am getting a bit irritated by it and it doesn't help that peeps keep calling me going "Yo it was soo your fault" Dude, so i made a mistake, big deal..... MOVE ON!

Now for the ending of this long azz (boring if u ask me) story....

Friday arrives, dude takes shows up late, after claiming his GPS couldn't locate my house (that was God talking y'all i am telling you....... the powers that be were at work right there)
Anywhoo, dude's all dressed up and ish, and i'm like "whoa, it is only a movie... who u tryna impress?"
Fast forward, get to mall, buy tickets (which he pays for, how nice) and then i want to grab something to eat, cuz i just got off a lab b4 he showed up.... Dude insists we go somewhere fancier than the food court in the mall( i was just planning on grabbing a pretzel or something and munching on it whilst i do a little window shopping)
Anywhoo, he decides we should go to Swiss Chalet.... on the way, There's Montana's... and dude goes let's go here instead.... i object, telling him that i was going there in a week or so, so building up on that anticipation (and this wasn't a lie... Tinuo and i do this all the time, every new semester... go to montana's and eat our hearts out b4 the craziness that is school kicks into full swing)
Dude insists on driving there, but there was a 45 minute waiting list... haha... so swiss chalet it was... where he wanted me to have a glass of something seeing as he was driving (dude rented a car, who begged him to? )
Me, who loves alcohol die, didn't , i repeat, DID NOT have any cuz, well i don't drink without my buddies around, unless i'm in the comfort of my home.....

Anyway he pays for dinner, we see the movie, which he was chatting about all throughtout the movie.... HEAVEN help me. i wanted to kill him soo bad or atleast shut him the fudgemuffin up.....

So movie ends at 12 am ish n dude wants us to go downtown, (the sole purpose to his renting the bloody car) me, i was tired... n had specifically said MOVIE!
why do people think they can change my minds? DUMBAZZEZ...

anywhoo, drops me off (after tryna persuade me to go clubbing for like the 100th time...
he calls me later that morning, but me, i was on long distance call, so... yea....

Anywhoo, dude keeps bugging, me i give the silent treatment, finally told him for like the millionth time i wasn't interested... n he goes, i got the feeling you were... FINE, so i made the mistake... but dude, i ain't interested...
Did he get that? u already know the answer to that now, don't you.......

So one day, he calls n i get my girlie, Amy (from really?) to answer the call, n she rambles on about how she just got this number spankin new n never heard of a CHIOMA b4....... hahaha... so he sends a text saying "deleted you from my phonebook"
and thus is how stalkerazzi 2.0 came to an end....
Never to repeat itself again.....

LESSONS TAKEN FROM THIS........
1. i'm off men... i am following Tigeress oh! God knows how long it would last, but,honestly, i am no longer searching..... this chica is single n will be loving her singledom die... i mean there is soo much more out there besides men....

2. i shall do things to please only me (okay Bible says don't be selfish, so this is gonna be a toguh one, but i am already selfish-y....)

3. New year resolutions are WACK! whoever came up with that, shld be punished for such cruel act on humans... driving us all insane with ur madness.... mscheeww!

Here you have it....
Gonna have anoda post up real soon... haven't been sleeping much since Mother Nature came to town... and don't mention birth control pills, i have been hearing stuff about Yaz, it's freaky....
And yes, i haven;t been so active on twitter, have a lot going on, practically choking me..... hehehe

So keep coming back, cuz i'm still here and aint going nowhere (yet!)

Latz.... Mad love yo
posted by chayoma at 4:11 PM 18 comments

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Stalkerazzi 2.0 Round two

* If u haven't read the first part, you must be on a long ting... lol. So catch up with the rest of us ...

CONTD...

So, we said our goodbyes,me on my way to handle my beeswax, him to ensure his wallet was home and not missing..
i never take ten steps, (i'm serious) when my phone started 2 ring. i look am, haa i dunno this numero oh! So i jejely picked up the phone
Me: Hello
Dude: i was just making sure u gave me the right number
(see me oh. this ode think say we dey naija)
Me: Dude, if i didnt want to give my phone number i should say so. Abi u don confirm say na me own phone, i've got things to do.... ciao.
*me hangs up 2 go do me*

A few hours later, same number calls...
What in heaven's name cld he possibly want.
Dude: Have u had lunch? ( No Good morning, or anything na have u had lunch?)
Me: yes
Dude: i was thinking maybe we could have a quick easy lunch @ subways

*Okay how many of u have lunch with friends, and friends of friends that u dnt knw, or ur lab partners, or research partners or co workers, raise ur hands high. Having a cup of coffee (albeit i dnt drink coffee) or lunch is no biggee. Anywhoo back to our story*

Me: Umm when exactly? N i'm really not into subway. we cld grab lunch at the food court (on campus)
Dude: Today

*That is when i began 2 see a bit of stars, but the stars never hit me well wello*

Me: i'm sorry, got plans, besides, u have any problems, u say, we dnt need to met over lunch 4 such. ( Kai, foul play Chioma, FOUL)

Dude: *incoherent convo*

*Might i add dude can talk, not like annoying talk, but all that philosophical talk which always leads to boring. Now i dnt mind an arguement or two, i am Queen when it comes to that, but Dayum, this dude cld chatter your eardrums away*

Me: i have to go... HANGS UP

So dude keeps calling on countless occasions, hence the stalkerazzi 2.0 (cuz there were stalkers b4 him, lol), tryna hook something up, n i'm like "I'm busy" which was not far from the truth.
Seriously, the first month of the semester is the time to get all your perambulating out of the way b4 the stress of the semester kicks in.

So i was feeling bad that i was (what's the word?). Plus my friend that is a girl ( apparently saying my girlfriend has a different connotation to it nowadays, even if u knw i am straight as a board. this world don spoil finish) said i was being unfair ( i shall never take her advice again lol) So the next time dude calls ( cuz i dnt call. Ask those who know me. it is not that i dn't care but i mean, if there isn't stuff 2 talk abt or ish y call? u see if u good? that's y there's Fb, twitter, emails...)

So the next time dude calls, i'm like okay, so i can't find anyone who wants 2 go see The Book of Eli with me, so u wanna c it?
Dude: But it's coming out in two weeks...
Me; exactly. N it has to be on a friday (1st day showing) cuz i got plans saturday and sunday)
Dude: u gimme no choice
Me: Cool.. Later ( Had no strength to play dumb to his chattering)

Lessons learned so far
1. No more random smiles. ( that has proven hard to quit)
2. Guys can never be just close friends except he gay... i need a gay friend ASAP
3. Never go 2 the movies alone with a guy u just met ( even ur so called friend)
unless he has a girlfriend ( pretty sure the dudette won't let that even happen)
or u interested in him

To Be Contd.

P.S.
1. i shld have finished this but.... i want u to keep coming back
2. i promise stalkerazzi 2.0 round three is the finale, no matter how long the post
3. i have a test tmrw (Molecular cell biology) so no proffreading done (like i ever proofread ever)
4. u best follow me on twitter... if u didn't knw, now u knw.... http://twitter.com/chayomao
posted by chayoma at 7:13 PM 12 comments

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Really?

So i was suppose to continue my Stalkerazzi 2.0 story, but this just happened n definitely needed to be blogged about...

So, my friend, Amy, came over, ate, watched t.v. made some noise, all that ish... and then it was time to leave.
DATE: 3RD MARCH 2010
TIME: 9:00 PM

So i decided 2 walk her halfway 2 her house (10-15 minute walk away from mine)
So we walking, on the sidewalk, right under one of those streetlights when all of a sudden, a car comes speeding by and whoosh, some liquid comes flying out of the car and landed right on us... (Well it didn't get me, and Amy was wearing a Bomber jacket)

*We cursed and screamed. And i go "this is soo a racist act. i mean, who pours stuff outside the car, and not just anywhere,right at us"

Now u have 2 know that
A. this was at night
B. i'm blind (not legally, but i wear contacts, n i wasn't wearing them at this point,neither did i have my glasses on,so i cldn't even make up the idiots in the car
C. we were walking right under the streetlights when this happened, so the light was on us, thus, we cldn't see jack (even if my vision was a perfect 20/20, which it is with my contacts on)

So i walk her halfway, and turn and head back home, only for these bunch of dummies, to turn around and were coming at me, but on the other side of the road.... they were probably saying something but i cldn't hear a thing seeing as i had my mp3 on.

A few minutes later, Amy calls me telling me that, as she turned into her street, those hoodlums came, and kept screaming the N word at her and other stuff she is too embarrased to say. She had the urge to throw a brick at them, but suppose, they counterattacked. She all alone on the street... she let that pass.

Honestly, some people need to grow up. WTF? And up till now i dunno what liquid they poured at our direction.

Being the neat freak i am, i showered as soon as i got home, threw everything, down to my undies in the washer, to be detoxified.
It's being a while n a half since this stuff ever happened to me.... just when u think it's getting better, with the Winter Olympics and ish, Nooo....
Some Good for nothing Ode just has to come around and exercise their nonsense free rights....

We shall leave this in the hands of the Almighty. they might just be caught one day.... bastards....

*Anger all vented*

P.S. promise 2 have Stalkerazzi 2.0 the continuation up b4 the week runs out, so keep checking....

Later.
posted by chayoma at 10:55 PM 15 comments

Monday, March 1, 2010

Stalkerazzi 2.0

*Gonna try n keep it short as possible*

So it was a new year, (2010), first month (January) cant remember date but definitely b4 7th, n i was heading towards my department (Biochem) after paying my tuition for the semester....
I am walking by towards the overhead, with my earphones on (as always)when some dude passes by.

PAUSE
Now i have this weird thing i do ( i think it is weird) if anyone looks my way (be it old, young, tall, short, drop dead gorgeous, not soo pleasing to the eyes) i smile...
Yes i smile, a humble, u r human n I SEE YOU kinda smile (not I SEE YOU for avatar lovey dovey oh... okay kinda, arrgghhh this explanation is confusing... )


So like i always do, i smiled and kept going my way, only for hands to appear from nowhere on my shoulders...
Twas the dude...
Dude: "i have seen u like 5 times now, n each time u smile and walk away"
Me: " Really? dnt recall"
Make una c me oh! person don dey count sef how many times he don see me, down to the shoes i was wearing on each occasion
Dude: " i just moved here from Waterloo in September, so i dnt knw a lot of people"
Dude: "What's your name?"

Okay now, two factors were the reason for my answer.
1. i remember ever so vividly wat it was like coming here, knwing nobody... i wanted to jump the next plane straight back home. If not for my support system, peeps who welcomed moi, made sure i was okay, all that ish, seriously, i have no idea where i wld be (More like at the bottom of the cold freezing ocean)
2. i had made a resolution to be nicer to people ( apparently i come across as a snob with my head in the air, untouchable, antisocial... all dat ish. tellme if this doesnt sound like hateration to you) Anyway, i thot this was my first opportunity to be nice

Me; "Chioma, and u?"
DUDE SMILES LIKE an ewu
Dude" F" ( u thot i was gonna give away the name right? He's yoruba.

SIDE NOTE: my mom doesn't want a son-in-law who isnt Nigerian (not that i was thinking abt marriage..far from it. Dude aint got nada in the looks department n i have to think abt my kids. he doesnt even have height else, my whole family is above 5' 11 except moi...lol)

So we get the talking... n i am like who have u met since u got here... Dude goes no one...
Now dude is doing PhD (if only i knew then what i knw now....mscheeww)
So me (still in my help the needy mode)now, i start calling names of naija peeps wey dey our campus, dude just dey look me ccccc...
So i was look okay, well if u need any help, i dey biochem...holla...
Before i fit take step, dude don want my number
No harm no foul, i handed it over...
Little did i knw i had just made my second mistake of the year...

To be Contd.
posted by chayoma at 2:07 PM 19 comments

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

100% FICTION

We are seated beside each other
Staring away into thin air
Racy thoughts run through my mind
Thoughts of you and i doing more than staring
I seated on your laps instead of this back breaking chair

We are joined together at our lips and hips
I feel you inside me
Full seven inches of you
I gasp with pleasure
Your hands steadily grab my hips
Gliding me up and down your beautiful shaft
My toes curl in delight
And off goes my $200 pumps

My skirt keeps rising
Higher and Higher
Your hands collide with my chest
Buttons flying everywhere
But we don't seem to notice

I feel your lips across my lacy bra
My breasts bursting, begging for sweet release
Finally you release them from captivity
My nipples hard and ready
All for you
You take them, one after the other
Shivers run down my spine
Our sweet tempo increases
As we climb towards the climax

And suddenly, i hear a voice,
"Fried Rice or Jollof Rice, Mizz?"


What do you guys think?
Hehehe..........
posted by chayoma at 5:37 PM 18 comments

Sunday, February 7, 2010

i won!

Y


with only one comment, i won! it is official...


I didnt see this coming, so i didnt have my speech ready.
i wld have to thank God, firstly, for reserving this book for me. Adding this book to my collection aka library is a thing of joy seeing as i am already a proud owner of the Purple Hibiscus and half of a yellow sun. Secondly, my parents. for blivn in me even when the world said there was no way or hope. u taught me all i needed to know n gave me the opportunity to walk the path, exploring life on my own. Thank you.
To Mizz Vera, thank you for this. it means a million n one things. Receivin this from our very prestigious blogger, is bigger than the grammys! i only wish i had the privilege of receivng this in person, sadly, the letter will make do. i might even frame it...lol.
Last but not least, my fellow lovely bloggers, without, y'all this wldnt have been half as much fun. May good things come our way always.... :)
To NIGERIA, our motherland. may SHE prosper n lead the way to a better tmrw... albeit we make the news for all the worng reasons, may we begin to make the news for the right reasons.... And everyone said...AMEN!

thank you
posted by chayoma at 2:09 PM 13 comments